"I am proud to be paying taxes in the United States. The only thing is - I could be just as proud for half the money."

— Arthur Godfrey, entertainer

"People who complain about taxes can be divided into two classes: men and women."

— Unknown

"Like mothers, taxes are often misunderstood, but seldom forgotten."

— Lord Bramwell, 19th Century English jurist

"The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale."

— Arthur C. Clarke, author

"Next to being shot at and missed, nothing is really quite as satisfying as an income tax refund."

— F. J. Raymond, humorist

"A tax loophole is 'something that benefits the other guy. If it benefits you, it is tax reform.'"

— Russell B. Long, U.S. Senator

"Few of us ever test our powers of deduction, except when filling out an income tax form."

— Laurence J. Peter, author

"The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax."

— Albert Einstein, physicist

"Taxation with representation ain't so hot either."

— Gerald Barzan, humorist

"Income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf."

— Will Rogers, humorist

"April 15 is lurking around the corner, so if you have yet to file your federal tax return, it's time to set aside a few hours, gather together your financial records, and flee the country."

— Dave Barry, author

"Worried about an IRS audit? Avoid what's called a red flag. That's something the IRS always looks for. For example, say you have some money left in your bank account after paying taxes. That's a red flag."

— Jay Leno, comedian